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Second-Time Charm: Planning a Second Wedding Later in Life

If you're a more mature bride planning a wedding for a second try, there are undoubtably many questions that you may be asking yourself. Should I wear the white dress? Have a big wedding or keep it intimate? If my parents have passed away, or are too elderly to accompany me down the aisle, then who do I ask to walk me down the aisle?

If these are questions you've been contemplating the answers to, then read on, as we'll cover this, as well as other important details to help redefine wedding traditions for your second-time charm!

Redefining White: Alternatives to Traditional Bridal Wear

As a more mature bride, you may be wondering about the significance and suitability of wearing a traditional white wedding gown. While white symbolizes purity and virginity in some cultures, the choice to wear white should ultimately reflect your personal style and comfort. 

But what are some alternatives if you opt not to wear a white bridal gown? 

  • Champagne Tones: Keeping in line with traditional bridal colors, champagne or beige gowns can add a layer of subtlety and sophistication to your look.

  • Pastel Shades: Pale blues, blush pinks and soft lavender can lend a romantic and graceful edge to your bridal attire.

  • Bold Colors: If you have a penchant for making bold fashion statements, don't shy away from vibrant colors. A deep red or royal purple could symbolize your passion and vitality.

  • Pantsuits or Jumpsuits: Who says you must wear a dress? Bridal pantsuits and jumpsuits are a stunning alternative for brides looking for a chic, modern look.

If you feel fabulous in a white dress, don’t let tradition or societal norms stop you from wearing one! However, if you believe you’ve been there, done that and want to try something different this time, that’s great too. The goal is not to look like a twenty-something bride but rather to reflect your true self, and feel confident on your big day. Ultimately, this is your big day and you should feel absolutely beautiful, confident, and comfortable in whatever you choose to wear, whether it is the traditional white dress or an alternative

Choosing the Size of the Wedding 

Perhaps you're wondering about the size of the wedding. Bigger isn’t always better, especially if you want something more intimate and personal. A small gathering of close friends and family might be just what you're after. Deciding on the size of your wedding really comes down to what feel is right for you and your partner. Remember, this day is about the two of you and the love you share. . 

Walking Down the Aisle: Who Should Accompany Me?

Choosing someone to walk you down the aisle is a deeply personal decision, and when parents are unavailable, it can feel even more significant. But remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer! The most important thing is to choose someone who brings you comfort, support, and joy on your special day. Here are a few alternative options if your parents are deceased, or unable to accompany you down the aisle:

  • Sibling: A sibling can be a great source of strength and laughter. They know you better than anyone and can help you keep things light on your wedding day. 

  • Aunt or Uncle: An aunt or uncle can be another fantastic option, especially if they played a significant role in your life. They can offer guidance and support, and their presence can feel like family.

  • Godparent: A godparent can be a wonderful choice if they've been a constant presence in your life. They can offer spiritual guidance and support, and their presence can feel like a blessing.

  • Close friend: A close friend can be a source of strength and comfort on your wedding day. They can help you relax and have fun, and their presence can feel like a ray of sunshine. 

It's most important to chose someone who will make you feel comfortable and happy. Trust your gut, and chose the person who will make your walk down the aisle truly special!

What About the Adult Children? Should they be Involved?

You can chose to involve your adult children in your wedding, or have them simply attend the wedding as a guest. Ultimately the choice is up to you and your significant other. If you do decide to include your adult children in the wedding, here are some ways they can participate and be involved in the big day:

  • Be a part of the wedding planning process: This could involve helping to choose the venue, the decorations, the music, or the food.

  • Give a reading or speech at the ceremony: This is a great way to express your love and support for your parent and their new partner.

  • Be a bridesmaid or groomsman: This is a traditional way to show your support and involvement in the wedding.

  • Help with the reception: This could involve greeting guests, setting up tables, or cleaning up after the event.

Depending on family dynamics, the relationship with the adult children and the tone of the wedding, will most likely be the deciding factors of whether or not you and your partner chose to have adult children involved in the wedding.

What About Pre-Wedding Festivities?

Typically, it is less common for couples who are planning a second wedding to have pre-wedding celebrations, such as an engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelor/bachelorette party. It's typically the preconceived notion that brides getting married for the second time "already have everything they need." However, this is not to say that if your friends and family want to throw you a shower, and everyone seems on board, then go for it!

There is certainly no "one-size fits all" when it comes to planning a wedding for the second time. It offers a beautiful opportunity to celebrate your love and journey in a way that truly reflects your significant other. It's about breaking away from what's traditionally expected and creating experiences that encompass your story, love, and growth. After all, love is not confined to a particular age or a single experience. It grows and evolves, just like we do!

Happy Planning!

The Wedding Talk Team



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I'm Lynea, founder of The Wedding Talk. Our mission is to inspire, education, and simplify the wedding industry for those of you getting married and wedding vendors in the industry. Pop over to my socials to get all the tips and tricks you'll need.

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