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Making Your Guest List

The Ultimate Guide to Crafting Your Wedding Guest List (Without Losing Your Mind)


Making your wedding guest list seems like it should be simple, but boy oh boy can it become one of the trickiest parts about your wedding planning process! Who do you invite? Who gets a plus-one? What about your mom’s best friend’s cousin’s neighbor? Before you spiral, take a deep breath. We’ve got you covered with this guide to creating a guest list you can feel good about.



Step 1: Start With Your Big Picture

First things first: what kind of wedding are you envisioning? A glamorous party with 200 guests? An intimate celebration with just your closest loved ones? Defining your wedding vibe helps set the tone for your guest list.


Pro Tip: Your guest count directly impacts your budget. If you’re dreaming of a luxe venue and gourmet catering, a smaller list might give you more room to splurge on the details that matter most.



Step 2: Break It Down by Categories

To keep things organized, split your list into clear groups:

  • Immediate Family: Parents, siblings, and grandparents are usually non-negotiables.

  • Extended Family: Aunts, uncles, cousins… but how far down the family tree do you want to go?

  • Friends: Think about your ride-or-die crew, old friends, and those who play a meaningful role in your life.

  • Coworkers: Do you want to include colleagues? Or keep work and wedding worlds separate?

  • Other Groups: This can include childhood friends, family friends, or neighbors.


Pro Tip: Create a spreadsheet or use a wedding planning app to keep everything organized. When I was planning my wedding, I started the guest list on a napkin at a restaurant and then accidentally threw it out. I would not recommend. Break out the Google Sheets and make your life easier from the get go! This way you and your partner can add to it as you go along.



Step 3: Prioritize Your People

Here’s where the magic happens: assign each guest a priority level. This helps you make tough decisions when the budget or venue capacity becomes an issue.

  • A-List: These are your must-haves. The VIPs who you can’t imagine celebrating without.

  • B-List: People you’d love to invite if space and budget allow.

  • C-List: Those you’d only consider if you have extra room (sorry, random third cousin).



Step 4: Trim the List Like a Pro

Struggling to narrow it down? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Have I spoken to this person in the last year?

  2. Do I see this person being a meaningful part of my life in the next five years?

  3. Am I inviting them because I want to or because I feel obligated?

If the answer is “no” to any of these, they might not make the cut. And that’s okay!


Pro Tip: Don’t forget to include yourself in the guest count. Also, put in about 5 extras for your wedding vendors. Most of the time you can get those vendor meals at a discounted rate and they don't need to sit at your tables, but it's best to over-prepare for pricing.



Step 5: Address Family Dynamics

Ah, family politics. If you’ve got complicated dynamics, here’s how to navigate them:

  • Set Boundaries: Be clear about how much input family members will have. If they’re contributing financially, you might offer them a specific number of guest spots.

  • Stay Fair: If you invite one aunt, you might need to invite the others. Consistency keeps the peace.

  • Communicate as a Couple: Present a united front to avoid any “but they said…” drama.


Quick Note from me: When it comes to family dynamics and your wedding guest list, remember that your wedding is about celebrating your relationship, not fulfilling everyone's expectations. Set clear boundaries early and communicate as a team with your partner - this helps you stay aligned and feel confident in your decisions (even if they're hard). It’s okay to prioritize your emotional well-being by inviting people who truly support and uplift you. If guilt or pressure arises, remind yourself that you can't please everyone, and that's okay. This is your day, and it’s important to honor what feels right for you both.


Also, your wedding is not the one and only celebration you can have! If someone can't come to the wedding, plan a dinner party with them to share your wedding images and catch up.



Step 6: Decide on Plus-Ones and Kids

These two topics can be a minefield, so decide your policy early:

  • Plus-Ones: Reserve them for married, engaged, or long-term partners. You don’t need to offer a plus-one to every single guest.

  • Kids: Choose between a kid-friendly or adults-only wedding. If you’re inviting kids, consider providing childcare or activities to keep them entertained.


Pro Tip: Be clear about these policies on your invitations and website to avoid confusion.


Wording example for how to say "no kids please":

  • “We look forward to celebrating with you! Please note this will be an adults-only event.”

  • “While we adore your little ones, we kindly ask that you arrange for childcare as this will be a kid-free celebration.”

  • “Due to venue limitations, we are unable to accommodate children. Thank you for understanding!”



Step 7: Finalize and Organize

Once you’ve whittled down your list, cross-check it with your budget and venue capacity. Then, start collecting addresses for invitations - hello, spreadsheets!


Prepare for Declines: On average, 10-20% of your guests might not attend. Keep this in mind when sending invitations and have your B-List ready to go if space opens up.


Step 8: Handle Awkward Conversations Like a Pro

Not everyone will make the cut, and that’s okay. If someone asks why they’re not invited, here’s a polite response: “We’re keeping our wedding small and intimate due to budget and space constraints. We hope you understand!”



Bonus Tip: Make It Fun!

Turn guest list planning into a date night or hangout session. Pop some bubbly, put on your favorite playlist, and celebrate crossing this major task off your to-do list.


I hope this guide will help kickstart your Guest-List-Making Process. I know how tricky it can be some times and I just want to remind you ONE more time before we finish: It. Is. Your. Wedding. And you need to protect that! Make decisions that are best for the both of you.


Much love, and Happy Planning!

Lynea <3

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I'm Lynea, founder of The Wedding Talk. Our mission is to inspire, education, and simplify the wedding industry for those of you getting married and wedding vendors in the industry. Pop over to my socials to get all the tips and tricks you'll need.

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