Is This What You Really Want? Or Just What Instagram Told You to Want?

I plan weddings. I photograph weddings. I make content about weddings.

Which also means… I consume a lot of weddings.

I am on my phone scrolling through Pinterest and Instagram and Tiktok and YouTube scavenging the internet like a psycho to make sure I'm keeping up to date with all things wedding. Overall I'm a big fan of my job, but I found myself last night watching a video about hating first looks and thought "Do I hate first looks too?" Because that creator was doing a REALLY good job convincing me!

Here's the thing: I love first looks. You cannot convince me otherwise.

.....or so I thought...???

When you’re in the thick of Instagram inspiration boards and 15-second reels telling you what’s “in” this season, it’s really hard to know if you're making a decision because it reflects your love story..... or because you’ve seen it 17 times on your feed this week.

Let me explain.

The Wedding Content Fog

I’ve seen brides melt down over their decisions: because one day it's hot and the other day it's not.

I’ve watched grooms worry they're not going to cry enough because the viral videos they've seen set a certain standard.

Social media didn’t just show them options. It convinced them there was a right way to get married. And anything else would feel...less than.

A recent client of mine came into our Preliminary Design meeting saying: "I was looking on Instagram and it seems like my vibe is September Wedding."

Love ya girl, but what the flying eff are you talking about?! September is a month... And it looks different in every state. I'm thinking pumpkins and she's thinking white and green flowers.

After a lot of digging into this concept, she shared the video with me and it's someone just putting a name to a random assortment of decor images LOL.

Here’s the thing: I love beautiful, meaningful, well-designed weddings. But I also love real ones: ones that reflect who you are, not who the algorithm is spotlighting this week.

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As a content creator, I try to check myself often. I'm aware of the repercussions that come from social media pressure and, I know, I'm kind of a part of the problem. SHAME!

I do try my best to provide more of a "take what you need" format instead of "F*&% YOU IF YOUR WEDDING IS LIKE THIS YA DUMBY" approach, though.

But it's not just a generic social media pressure that everyone loves talking about on their podcast. It's not just stress or decision fatigue, but identity distortion. You start building a wedding that reflects the algorithm’s idea of love instead of your own.

Reclaiming Your Wedding From the Internet

The solution isn’t to ditch Pinterest (I mean, we’d be lost without it). It’s to build awareness.

And listen, I wanna say there is a reason why this pressure creeps up the way it does:

We want our weddings to look beautiful.

We want our friends and family to say “wow.”

We want to be proud of our photos.

We want to feel like the best version of ourselves and worthy of celebration.

(We also want our money spent to be worth it!)

That’s not vanity. That’s being human.

We’re visual creatures. It makes total sense that we’d care how our day looks.

But here’s the difference: there’s a big gap between wanting something to look beautiful… and needing it to look impressive.

When we design from a place of “this feels like us,” beauty happens naturally. When we design from a place of performance, we end up stressed, second-guessing, and sometimes disconnected from the actual experience of getting married. So this next part isn’t about tossing out your style or settling for less. It’s about reconnecting to what matters.

Here’s what I recommend:

• Remove inspiration that creates anxiety instead of excitement. If someone’s content makes you feel behind, not good enough, or overwhelmed: you can mute them. Seriously. Even if it’s me.

• Take a break from wedding content if you feel yourself spiraling. Give your mind a chance to reset. Go out with your partner and talk about the vibe you two love.

• Return to your core values. Ask yourself, If I had never seen a wedding on Instagram, what would I plan? The answer will be yours.

• Choose your inputs wisely. There’s no right way to get married. There’s only your way. That can be a brunch wedding. A backyard BBQ. A formal museum celebration. Or eloping in a foreign country. Let your story lead.

The Deeper Truth

This isn’t about being naive or weak-minded. You’re not “silly” for absorbing what you see online.

The internet is good at what it does.

But the truth is: Most content isn’t always created to nurture your wellbeing, it’s created to perform. To go viral. To evoke a reaction. And while much of it is beautiful and inspiring , it’s not sacred.

You are. Your love is. Your wedding day is.

So don’t let your wedding be a performance for people you don’t know.

Let it be a reflection of your relationship.

Ask Yourself This:

If social media didn’t exist—what would you still choose?

That question has guided me through so many moments of clarity in this work. It brings me back to what really matters: connection, joy, presence, celebration.

And if that’s not what weddings are truly about… what are we even doing?

Let’s Make Space for What’s Real

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear about it. What's one wedding “must-have” you’ve been questioning lately? Leave a comment below or send me an email theweddingtalkllc@gmail.com

With love,

Lynea D’Aprix

Wedding Planner, Photographer, and Content Creator based in Upstate New York

Owner of The Wedding Talk