How do I share my pronouns with my wedding guests?
In a world that is evolving toward greater awareness and acceptance, we believe that every celebration, including our wedding, should be a space where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.
Here are some suggestions on how to share your pronouns with your wedding guests in a tasteful way:
Include Pronouns on Invitations:
You can add a line on your wedding invitations indicating your preferred pronouns. For example: "Join us in celebrating the love between [Your Names], she/her and he/him."
If you have a wedding website, consider creating a section that introduces both of you and includes your preferred pronouns. This can also be a place to share other important information about the ceremony and reception.
Announcement During the Ceremony:
If you and your partner are comfortable, you can include a brief statement during the ceremony acknowledging your preferred pronouns. This could be part of your vows or a separate statement of gratitude to your guests.
Programs or Signage:
Include information about your preferred pronouns in the wedding programs or on signs at the ceremony or reception venue.
Consider writing personalized notes or thank-you cards to each guest. This is another place you can mention of your pronouns, for example in your signature. This adds a personal touch and shows that you've considered each guest individually.
Social Media and Save-the-Dates:
If you're using social media or sending save-the-dates before the official invitations, you can include your pronouns in those communications.
Ask Close Friends and Family to Spread the Word:
Word of mouth can be an effective and personal way to communicate this information.
Remember, the key is to communicate your pronouns in a way that feels natural and fits your personal style. Overall, your wedding is a celebration of your love, and ensuring that everyone feels respected and included is a beautiful way to start your life together.
What do I do when my guests choose not to respect my pronouns?
This conflict can be especially challenging when you're focused on your big day, but it's important to address the issue in a way that promotes understanding and respect.
Here are some steps you can consider:
Before addressing the person, take a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions. It's important to approach the situation with a clear mind.
Choose the Right Time and Place:
Ask yourself if this is a conflict you should spend time on at that moment. If so, find a private and appropriate setting to discuss the issue. This ensures a more focused and respectful conversation.
Some people may not be aware of the importance of using correct pronouns. Politely educate them on why it matters and how it contributes to your sense of identity and well-being.
Use "I" Statements:
Frame your concerns using "I" statements to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, say, "I feel hurt when my pronouns are not respected" rather than "You always get my pronouns wrong."
Offer educational resources or direct them to materials that explain the significance of pronouns and the impact of misgendering. Sometimes, people may be more receptive to external information.
If the person consistently uses the wrong pronouns, gently correct them in the moment. You can do this without making it a confrontation, saying something like, "Actually, I use [preferred pronouns]."
If you have supportive friends, family, or colleagues, ask them for assistance in reinforcing the importance of using correct pronouns. Sometimes, a collective effort can be more effective.
Clearly communicate your expectations and the impact that the lack of pronoun respect has on you. Let them know that it's crucial for maintaining a positive relationship.
Consider Their Perspective:
While it's not your responsibility to educate everyone, some people may genuinely be unaware of the significance. Encourage open dialogue and ask if they have any questions or concerns about using your preferred pronouns.
If, despite your efforts, the person continues to disrespect your pronouns and shows no willingness to change, you may need to evaluate the importance of the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with individuals who respect and support your identity - ESPECIALLY for your wedding day.
Hopefully this will send you in the right direction towards addressing this question. If you have any insight for me that would make this blog better, please reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sending lots of love and luck to you during your wedding planning process.