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7 Norms for Parents of the Couple During Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding is not only a joyous occasion, but it can be an exhilarating experience, as two souls celebrate the union of their unconditional love. However, as the excited buzz of wedding preparations fills the air, it's essential to recognize the significance of the roles parents play in this special occasion.


Traditionally, wedding "norms" state that the brides family pays for the wedding and the reception, while the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner. As brides and grooms find themselves more mature and frequently self-reliant, they are increasingly contributing a significant share to the expenses of the wedding. Consequently, they have greater influence over the guest list and the overall structure of the wedding ceremony.


Wondering how to minimize tension while preparing for your special day? In this post, we'll explore helpful strategies for how parents and in-laws can assist in the lead-up of your wedding day.





1) Open Communication


Having open communication and dialogue between the couples and the parents, will help express any concerns and expecations open and honestly.


2) Offer Support and Respect, Not Control


One of the biggest ways parents and in-laws can help a couple plan for their wedding, is by asking them, "what can I do to help?" Offer help or advice when asked, but avoid dictating decisions or preferences.


3) Respect Financial Boundaries


If parents or in-laws are contributing to the wedding financially, discuss and agree upon a budget upfront. Parents and in-laws should not overstep the couples limits, or try to control financial decisions beyond what they've committed to.


4) Embrace Collaboration, Not Competition


The brides parents can work together with the grooms parents, along with the couple, to create a unified team. Steer clear of making comparisons or engaging in competing narratives, and instead, aim for a collaborative wedding planning process.


5) Be a Source of Joy


Parents and in-laws should celebrate their children's wedding with genuine enthusiasm. By supporting decisions, it will help to create a smooth planning process which will lead up to the memorable and joyous event-the wedding!


6) Be Mindful of Traditions and Preferences


Understand that different families have different traditions and taste. Be willing to compromise and find solutions that respect everyone's cultural and religious preferences.


7) Be Supportive!


After all, it is the couples big day! While parents and in-laws may have dreams and expectations for how the wedding day should go, parents should allow their children to prioritize their preferences and create a celebration that reflects their love, commitment and vision.



Remember, these norms aren't rigid rules, but rather guidelines for partnering with parents and in-laws during the wedding planning process. When parents and in-laws offer support without smothering, celebrate milestones without overshadowing, and embrace communication with warmth and understanding, they'll contribute to a wedding that's not just a beautiful ceremony, but a testament to the power of love, family, and collaboration.


Happy Planning!

The Wedding Talk Team

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I'm Lynea, founder of The Wedding Talk. Our mission is to inspire, education, and simplify the wedding industry for those of you getting married and wedding vendors in the industry. Pop over to my socials to get all the tips and tricks you'll need.

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